Tom Lehrer, 1965
If you visit American city
You will find it very pretty
Just two things of which you must beware
Don't drink the water and don't breathe the air!
They got smog and sewage and mud
Turn on your tap
And get hot and cold running crud!
See the halibuts and the sturgeons
Being wiped out by detergeons
Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly
But they don't last long if they try
You can use the latest toothpaste
And then rinse your mouth
With industrial waste
Just go out for a breath of air
And you'll be ready for Medicare
The city streets are really quite a thrill
If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will
Wear a gas mask and a veil
Then you can breathe
Long as you don't inhale!
Lots of things there that you can drink
But stay away from the kitchen sink!
Throw out your breakfast garbage and I've got a hunch
That folks downstream will drink it for lunch
So go to the city
See the crazy people there
Like lambs to the slaughter
They're drinking the water
And breathing [cough] the air!
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